Amber’s passion is teaching, which she studied in college, and she would love to teach in her church’s school, Lord willing. Her blog experiment is a fashion blog, where she’d like to prove to other conservative Christians that it is possible to dress both modestly and fashionably. Her life is currently consumed with taking care of her two kids who are 2 1/2 and 6 months old.
From Darkness to Light – Guest Post
I would like to share with you the absolutely most dynamic experience I have had with God, and that is the event of my own salvation (rebirth) at age 14. Yes, I know, very young. How sweet I came to be saved at such a ripe young age. While there is some truth in that, the flip side to that coin is that I had grown up way too fast already and was on the fast track to Hell. I knew I was going there and figured I may as well cause some damage on my way.
At about 11 or 12 I decided the rock music culture was where I belonged. When I had a dispute with my parents or was upset, I would lock myself in my room and would listen to Nirvana’s live album on my headset until I felt better. Music was my solace. To the point of being an addiction, like a drug. The artists to such bands like NIN; MM; Korn; and the aforementioned, became my role models and those I related to because the lyrics to their songs often reflected my own dark poetry.
At 13 I was institutionalized for an eating disorder. The truth was, I didn’t care whether I lived or whether I died. It also freaked my parents out when I didn’t eat, which I used to goad them in my rebellious lifestyle. I only saw them as an annoyance or obstacle and was very angry for their loving intervention. We had our issues, yes, but all they did was in love and I was too consumed with my own agenda to see that. My intense load of hostility resulted in self-mutilation; in me cutting myself; starving myself; isolating myself; all because, to me, life looked like one big black hole and I didn’t see why I was put on earth other than to live and suffer and die like everyone else and was very angry about this. Countless books on philosophy led me nowhere and it seemed like the occult was the only “answer” or thing that made sense at that point.
After being bounced around in various state programs for a year without any results except a deeper depression, I was enrolled in a Baptist Boarding School for troubled teens. It was the best decision my parents ever made. I was on suicide watch at their house when they made this decision. After six weeks of resisting and being “forced” to attend preaching services, I gave in to the Holy Spirit. I clearly remember the moment that I understood God knew everything about me; how messed up I was; all the evil decisions I had made; the fact I had chosen to be His enemy; yet STILL He loved me and wanted to make me His child. Just as I was. I was saved right in that split second. “I want that” was the thought that crossed my mind as that light bulb went on that day in church, and that very moment I accepted Christ and became His child.
I knew I was different immediately. Even that same day, I remember looking around me and thinking “I don’t hate these people any more”. And it was true! God honored His Word and put a new heart in me, just as He promised He would. That school was such a haven for me in the three years I finished up high school there. The perfect greenhouse for a new believer. (Not being in Hell was a bonus too) Not only was I separated from all the junk in my life but I also had the opportunity to focus solely on a walk with God and soak up all the truth my little heart could handle in a nurturing environment.
Since then- I stayed to work in that ministry, until I went to Bible college five years later. Met my dear husband my third year in college. We have now been married for five years, have two of the cutest children ever conceived on this earth, and I love my life serving the Lord and my preacher husband. The freedom I have experienced in Christ is absolutely one million times contrastingly greater than ANYTHING else. I have never felt an ounce of reservation about my indebtedness to God and all He has done for me. How could I NOT serve Him? It has never been an option in my mind. My new life in Christ has been just that-I have been brought from darkness to light; translated to the kingdom of His Son. I will continue to thank Him and walk in His light for as long as He gives me breath.